I recently taught a workshop to a group of teachers. Several wanted to know what they could say or do to immediately improve the functioning of the students they taught. I gave them some ideas, but it wasn’t until I left that I realized they were looking for an action to take that would solve the problem they were experiencing so they could move on.

I wish it could be this simple. Unfortunately, in most cases, it takes time to change a habit. First, it can be difficult to call attention to a person’s habit without them feeling self conscious. Most people are sensitive to a direct observation of their use. Some might even feel mortified. Also, a habit can stem from a wish to physically cope with an emotion. That habit could be tied to fear or anger or sadness. Letting go of a habitual pattern of tension could make a person feel vulnerable.

So what can be done? Go slowly. Pause and then come back to FM Alexander’s directions again and again. Allow your neck to ease, lengthen and widen your back, allow your legs to release, notice your breathing.

When I first began studying the Alexander Technique in an effort to be able to return to the flute (I had injurred my jaw), I found I couldn’t even look at the flute without tensing. I had to retrain my thinking—which took time. I quickly realized that I wasn’t just tense when I played the flute but all the time. I began to see that I could be doing less with almost every activity in my day. I was hyper-vigilant and being so had always served me—until I couldn’t play my instrument. I learned to slow down, pause, begin again, and breathe. For someone as tense as I was, it took a very long time to trust my body to function with half of the force I was using. It took time to learn to be gentle with myself. Applying the Alexander Technique certainly isn’t this hard for everyone and I should note that I did find some immediate relief when I first began taking lessons. However, for a long time, I needed an Alexander teacher to guide me back to that state of ease… repeatedly.

After a year of private lessons and the three-year, 1600-hour Alexander Technique teacher training program, I was able to experience life differently. I could move throughout my day with more freedom. I could remember to use my thinking to affect change. Even after all that work, it didn’t become automatic. And 16 years since I graduated, it still isn’t. I cannot eradicate my habits. I will always have to use my Alexander thinking to let go of them. And that’s okay. I have tools that I can use no matter what stressful situation may come my way.

So, can I show you something right now that will stop a habit immediately? No. I’m sorry. I can, however, show you the simple steps that—if applied—will gradually improve the overall quality of a life.